The latest updates from Day 1A of the Politically Correct Adventure 2014*.

Chips change ownership but players remain friends
“In seat one was a player developmentally inclined to be challenging. He’d been caught attempting forced acquisition owing to a disadvantaged upbringing all day and was also was prone to attempting a visually challenged giveaway while on the button.

Eugene Katchalov: developmentally inclined to be challenging

“Here he found two under-resourced cards of identical rank impotent during foreplay in what was a traditional or non-traditional household grouping container. The player in the unlucky in both height and sight position sanitarily disposed of his cards, as did the player disinclined to show enmity in the big. The biochemically high-spirited player in middle position infirm-jointed called.

Johnny Lodden: biochemically high-spirited

“The exotic tobacco specialist dealt the flop, giving the biochemically high-spirited player a heterosexual while indoors. The player gifted in height but not sight, tired of playing victim to the emotionally charged survivor of childhood advantage, requested with verve to be allowed through, artistically motivated by the deceased, but showing that they were gifted.

“To his relief, it was enough to win the hand.”

List of useful phrases for those following coverage of the Politically Correct Adventure 2014:

Active player = socially well-adjusted
Aggressive = developmentally inclined to be challenging
Big blind = gifted in height but not sight
Blind steal = a visually challenged giveaway
Bottom pair = two under-resourced cards of identical rank
Bully = emotionally charged survivor of childhood advantage
Chip leader = financially privileged
Dead hand = deferred success
Dealer = exotic tobacco specialist
Downswing = reverse boom
Drag light = miscalculated bet while wearing a cheap dress
Drawing thin/ dead = artistically motivated by the slim/deceased
Family pot = traditional or non-traditional household grouping container
Hero call = gender non-specific protagonist acting with pluck
Hijack = to persuade with vigour
Inside straight = heterosexual while indoors
Ladies event = competition for those with two “X” chromosomes
Limp = infirm jointed
Loose = non-discriminatory
Maniac = biochemically high-spirited
Muck = to sanitarily dispose of
Pair = individuals with similar lifestyle choices
Passive = disinclined to show enmity
Pre-flop = impotent before bed
Rack = chest
Shove = requested with verve to be allowed through
Small pair = vertically challenged cards of the identical rank
Small blind = unlucky in both height and sight
Stealing = forced acquisition owing to disadvantaged upbringing
Strength = gifted
Stud = handsome

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* none of this is true.

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Stephen Bartley is a PokerStars Blog reporter.